this is very sensual... written in a very creative way...

--
in the midst of a thousand drops of red, a howl was heard from his beaten wrists...

insanity has set in...

--

What being jobless means..

It's absoultly beautiful.

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And for all of you wonderful writer's out there, please be sure to stop by ~Irie-Scribe
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( . .) Ashley Lynn
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great wording and pacing. truly lovely.

--
dendrites wave and furl
moved-by-moving-with is not
manifesting is

this can happen without you
or it can happen within

I agree with praytell, great wording I liked this piece a lot.

woah.

Beautiful, great job!

--
Please check out my club! <3 Fantasy-based, people's souls living in a fantasy world! ~St-Anne-Truth
ARE THERE OTHER ORGANS IN THE CAR?

c|T| Tea for two

Interesting. Visually, I mentally placed every other line indented from the left margin. When doing this it seems as if this represents your old style, but that the staggered lines seem more poetic.

The words in this poem are all the same in poeticalness, so we're really just talking about structure.

Should you keep your current staggered line poem structure or go with the flush left all lines structure?

Well I think the staggered line structure is more fun to read; although I like flush left and it is easier for printing and typing and posting.

Flushed left gives an ability to shortened the line lengths or make some of uniform length.

So I'd use both old and new. Here is some sampling of how the line lengths could be broken up:

here is that place against his back,
That niche where the rolling curves
of my supple hips fit, we’re puzzle
pieces, whimsical, the way our legs
intertwine, the soles of his feet
chilled, pushing up the denim that coats
my calves, though I am the one that
cradles his thin build, the flat
definitions of his stomach, my grip
tangling in the fabric of his ‘heavy
metal’ olive green tee, letting my
slight fingers caress the dip in his
ribs, splintered, long before the bed
embraced, like we do.

here is that place against his back, That niche where the rolling curves
of my supple hips fit, we’re like puzzle pieces, whimsical, in the way
our legs intertwine, the soles of his feet chilled, pushing up the denim
that coats my calves, though I am the one that cradles his thin build,
the flat definitions of his stomach, my grip tangling in the fabric of his
‘heavy metal’ olive green tee, letting my slight fingers caress the dip
in his ribs, that he splintered, long before the bed embraced, like we do.

here is that place against his back, That niche
where the rolling curves
of my supple hips fit, we’re like puzzle pieces,
whimsical, in the way
our legs intertwine, the soles of his feet chilled,
pushing up the denim
that coats my calves, though I am the one that
cradles his thin build,
the flat definitions of his stomach, my grip
tangling in the fabric of his
‘heavy metal’ olive green tee, letting my slight
fingers caress the dip
in his ribs, that he splintered, long before the
bed embraced, like we do




--
"Women may fake orgasms, but men fake entire relationships."

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Very sweet, and very well written, I like this style with ure stuf.

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Books = Life
xX Vampires Will Never Hurt You Xx

amazing.

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[insert witty phrase here]